


Regrets

by Monsieur_Grenouille



Category: Original Work
Genre: I swear I’m alright, I’m scared, Just give me some time, M/M, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-01
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:08:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23420698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monsieur_Grenouille/pseuds/Monsieur_Grenouille
Summary: A reflection on how I’m doing.I’m really considering orphaning this work, but whenever I go to the “orphan work” page, it feels like I’m picking up the pen to sign a contract that sells my soul to whomever chooses to take it.





	Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I’m okay. There’s actually _always_ this much going on in my head, and I’m used to it. It’s just multiplied because I’ve been distanced from my best friend, who I might have feelings for.

Every time I looked in your eyes, there was something new.  
But now there’s nothing to look into.  
Only a mirror I want to paint black  
Or the lost time we’ll never get back.  
Not unless I shape up  
Or Make it up  
For all the times I yelled at you  
Or when I said “Yeah, I’m okay,”  
Even though you knew it wasn’t true.  


I didn’t see the counselor about it.  
School counselors don’t do crap and we all know it. 

And when we had that math teacher in seventh grade,  
I asked if she was terminally optimistic to see the look on her face.  
If it wasn’t for you sitting next to me I would’ve gone insane.  
I was aggressive already  
On the topic of society  
And I tried so many times to explain to her  
“If you ask a question,  
Be okay with any answer.”

You held my hand under the desk  
You talked daily to me; got my emotions in check.  
You read what I wrote  
On my locker, you left encouraging notes.

“One more year”  
“You’re not alone”  
“Be the queer boy who breaks the mold.” 

You were the force pushing me through middle school  
But you should see who I am without you.  
I’m a wreck.  
A total, lost, broken wreck.  
Please...

Answer the phone.

**Author's Note:**

> It’s not gay if it’s a friend, right?
> 
> Clean comments! Once again, I promise I’m okay. I’m just a little shaky right now, but it’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay. It’s gonna be okay.


End file.
